THE POWER OF A MARITAL FOCUS
‘Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.’
Any man that always prefers his wife above other women will also experience divine preference or favor amongst men. The word ‘prefer’ means to be in the habit of choosing something or someone rather than another, or to like better. Note carefully the tense of the word,’find’, used in the scripture above: it did not say, he who found, but he who findeth or finds. That is apresent simple tense. A present simple tense is used to state an action which occurs on a regular basis in present. These actions include habitual or repeated actions, scheduled actions occurring on regular basis; and facts that stand true all the time.
The writer of that verse in proverbs was not referring to a one time event, but something being repeated over and over again. He was not referring to finding and marrying the wife of your dreams, but to how you are relating with that lady you married on a daily basis, after marriage. Do you still love her as you did that first time? You chose her as your wife. You werent forced to do so. And there were several others but you chose her! She was more attractive to you than several others. She caught your fancy above others. That was at the beginning. But what is the story like now? Does she still catch your fancy as before? What changed? Do you still rate her above others? Do you still find her more attractive to you than others? Love is a thing of choice; you chose to marry her because she was your choice amongst many others. Loving her was a matter of choice then. Loving her now should still be a matter of choice. You should deliberately choose to do it and to do it continuously, because she is yours to love, for life! That was what you vowed to her on your wedding day, right? So its really notabout how you feel, but its more about your will. You should choose to do it and to keep doing it over and over again! And that is what the writer of that verse meant by the phrase, whoso findeth a wife. It means whosoever decides to choose his wife over and over again, shall obtain the favour of God. And why is that? Because God is the author of marriage. It was His idea, not man’s.
The first man, that God created, Adam, seemed comfortable having animals as his companions. But God wasn’t OK with it. It wasn’t a perfect picture of what He would describe as good. He wanted someone that could relate on a better level with the man. And so He made the woman AND BROUGHT HER TO THE MAN. That was to be the very first marriage on the planet. God originated marriage, and He alone has the blueprint of what it should be like. He also carefully watches what happens in marriages to see those who are sticking to His standards, and to reward them for it. That is where His favour comes in. So everytime you choose your wife above others, everytime you prefer her to all other ladies out there, no matter how she looks, you position yourself to experience God’s favour. And favour, according to a great man of God, Bishop David Oyedepo, is what determines the limits of every man’s destiny. It is favour that eases life for you as a man. It will terminate your struggles, and enhance your progress and prosperity on the earth.
God shows keen interest in how you terat your wife, from time to time. This is because marriage is not just about the two of you, but God also is involved. It is one of those things that the Bible describes as A THREE-FOLD CORD THAT IS NOT EASILY BROKEN. From this, you can deduce that marriage is a triangle involving the man, his wife and God. And a marriage partner is a gift from God and should be seen as such. God provides you with a marriage partner to help you fulfill your purpose on the earth. Marriage is not an end in itself, but a means to an end.
So when you focus on, stay committed to and celebrate that wife which God has given to you, you release the favour of God into operation in your life as a man.
‘Yet ye say, Wherefore? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.’
‘Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.’